highway

i do smell like cigarettes,
coffee
and mint chewing gum

like i did so many times

so long ago

but now my hands smell like baby's chest,
that has changed

anyway
my neck still smells like your hand cream,
again

i am all nervous for the coming trip
and the south east
and the bugs
and the russian airports

friends whose brains are all wreckage
and debris
and hate
but i don't know where it comes from
where does it all comes from anyway?

i am running to the embassy
to get the visa,
the hot day
all falling above me
like fists
and stones
the immense football stadium menacing
with all the lingering promises of passion and glory

and a couple of flashbacks from the past

of course

cigarettes,
coffee
and mint gum

and your lips
again
today