patti and me

for our book, amy

between all that dust and
the black velvet pavement
somewhere in between the plastic
the rocks that break your feet
a sea so intense that makes you think about jumping in her belly

the white stones
the dried flowers
in violet, yellow and blue
the green wheat
the pale rye
those faded emerald eyes
that shy silk hair

that morning climbing over beautiful grey dry trees
little bugs in black and red
the abandoned
houses of the slaves, the workers
you and i

somewhere, 20 meters under the ground
somewhere with no light at all
just the reflections of your own eyelids
the sounds of a little unknown creek
the light rain over the dessert
the small mosquitoes smashed in my hands
although i cannot even see myself


between
the ruins of my coney island dream
i look up and see the empty spaces
the lunatic streets
where you and patti
and keaton once walked

somewhere along the way
i stop
my feet in a haze of blue smoke
dark eyes
and sylk-like skin
somewhere i looked around
and realize i was alone all the time

somewhere
i don't know exactly where
maybe it was little by little
lover by lover
friend by friend
tear by tear
question by question
somewhere
i lost it
forever

and this feeling is so painful
i cannot even think about nothing else in the world
that faraway town where i met you
this dirty water in my mouth
me, running under the heavy rain
with my marble burden on my back
wishing i could kiss your thin chocolate lips
on the stone bench

this

this is

so painful it does not even hurt anymore

but somewhere
someplace
i am still able to listen to you and cry